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Hallowhathehell
Tue
7
Oct

Hallowhathehell...

Halloween has grown on me throughout the years. I went to a catholic grade school and the rule for Halloween was "no store bought costumes". I am the baby of three kids so by the time it was my turn to pick out a costume, my mom was over sewing and creating anything original. The Halloween box came down from the attic and it contained different hats, a few wigs, and mostly old clothes that someone in our family deemed costume worthy. I was a princess, clown, rockstar (which everyone thought I was a clown again), ghost, cowgirl...I loathed every single ensemble. The costume was always far too big and the fabric was itchy and smelled like mothballs. The minute I did come to terms with what I was for Halloween, my mom would then sabotage the costume by demanding I wear a coat and hat. "It's fine, you are a princess who doesn't want to catch a cold!" When I was in high school I never remember dressing up, but took on the responsibility of handing out candy with Ron. My dad was a riot on Halloween. He usually forgot to buy the fun size candy for trick or treaters. He would end up bringing candy from the gas station where he worked. Regular sized Snickers, Milky Ways and novelty candy would make our address the best house to hit in town. The good loot came with a price though. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" he would growl at the teenage boys that were clearly not in costume standing on the doorstep with open pillowcases. He always got a menagerie of answers like basketball player, actor, and my personal favorite, serial killer. They never got the good Snickers bars, he gave them items that would ensure we were to be TP'd that night. My dad gave expired Hostess Pies (these are minty...not moldy), restaurant peppermints, and his best F you "treat", green peppers from his garden. As an SIUC alumni, the term Halloween takes on new meaning. My freshman year I experienced how tear gas feels while walking home from a house party, witnessing drunk coeds vandalize property. The strip and campus shut down the rest of my college career. I worked at a bar off the strip, so Halloween turned into my busiest and most profitable night. The trend of females dressing provacatively on Halloween was alive and well, but hadn't reached full creativity or inappropriateness, depending on who you ask. Sure, we had slutty cops and naughty nurses. But, I never saw a band of sexed up Sesame Street characters. Hey, to each their own! If you want to honor the Public Broadcasting System by dressing up like a slutty children's character, you go for it!

Slutty Sesame Street

You can keep the theme of desecrating wholesome staples of childhood by serving the gang 3 Olives Loopy Vodka Rainbow Jello Shots at your Halloween get together. Fruit loop flavored vodka, it takes me back to Saturday morning cartoons!
Rainbow Jell-O Shooter

Rainbow Jell-O Shooter Recipe
Prep Time
: 1 hour 30 mins
Cook Time: 10 hours
Ready In: 11 hours 30 mins
Yields: 150 jell-o shots
Ingredients:
150 clear 2-oz shot glasses
4 3-oz boxes Jell-O, cherry or strawberry
4 3-oz boxes Jell-O, orange or peach
4 3-oz boxes Jell-O, lemon or pineapple
4 3-oz boxes Jell-O, lime or margarita
4 3-oz boxes Jell-O, berry blue or grape
20 cups boiling water, 4 cups per layer
20 cups (4 750 mLs) ice cold 3 Olives Loopy Vodka, 4 cups per layer
1 measuring syringe
Directions:
1. The most common flavor combination is cherry-orange-lemon-lime-blueberry, but the most important thing is choosing the right colors.
2. First, you'll want to set out your shot glasses on trays to make them easy to transport, because they'll be coming in and out of the fridge multiple times. You can also spray the inside of each cup with a little cooking spray, such as Pam, to make the shots slide out easily when they're done.
3. Start making the red Jell-O. Empty all four packages into a large bowl, and add 4 cups of boiling water. Mix vigorously, until all the gelatin is dissolved. Add 4 cups of ice cold vodka (keep the vodka bottle in the freezer until you need it) and stir.
4. Now comes the time consuming part. Grab your syringe and fill it up with the Jell-O liquid mixture. Shoot 10mL of the liquid into each shot glass. It's going to take some time if you're making 150 shots, but the results will be much more impressive if all the layers are uniform!
5. Transfer all the glasses into the fridge and let them cool for at least 2 hours. Check to make sure they've set by gently touching the top of a few of the glasses to make sure they're firm enough to begin a new layer. If they are still too "liquidy", the colors will blend and all your work will be wasted!
6. Once the first layer has set, repeat steps 3-5 with different colors of Jell-O in the following order: orange, yellow, green and blue (or purple). Allow a few hours between each layer, for the new layer to set.
7. After all the colors have set, prepare for your guests to be amazed! It's helpful to leave a jar of plastic toothpicks out next to the shots, so guests can loosen the Jell-O from the edges of the glass without needing to stick their finger in the Jell-O. 

If the cartoon or storybook character is not your thing, but you are still stumped on what to wear on October 31st, just take a look around your house. Subsequently I found that there are a wealth of items in your pantry that can be converted to slutty costumes! 
Slutty Mild SauceSexy Pizza BoxSlutty Chinese Food Box | Slutty SrirachaSlutty Solo Cups

Who knew condiments, containers and snacks could inspire so many questionable outfits! I will never unsee that pizza box costume. It's burned into my brain. Someone who finds a packet of mild sauce and says "wait a minute...I have an idea!", is someone who requires a shot that takes something traditional and makes it completely unconventional. If you see a gal or guy donning a ketchup packet or a cigar box as a costume, order them a PB&J shot, they will appreciate the irony.
PB&J Shot

Peanut Butter and Jelly Shooters
1/2 oz Dekuyper Amaretto
1/2 oz Dekuyper Razmatazz
Chill over ice and strain into a shot glas.

Many parents hope their children will take an interest in history and be knowledgeable about past and current political and historical figures. All costumes below are tributes to the men and women that made and impact on our historical timeline.
Slutty George WashingtonSlutty Girl ScoutSlutty Amelia EarhartBabe Lincoln

The Sexy George Washington lets people know that she will cross the Delaware, and any other obstacle for that matter, to seek attention. The Sexy Abe Lincoln Costume says “I love civil rights and I love to party.”  

I am sure Juliette Gordon Low had the sexy camp fire girl number in mind when she started the The Girl Scouts in 1912 to empower young ladies.  It is very empowering to wear a push up bra and merit badges. 

Pay homage to a female pioneer and go as Amelia Earhart, the sexy version of course.  What about a sexy Eleanor Roosevelt or Hillary Rodham Clinton?

The possibilities are endless.  Obviously anyone in these costumes are proud Americans! Celebrate their commitment to our country’s rich history with Red, White, & Blue shots.  Abe Lincoln was a teetotaler, but if you see him in a see-through negligee I am sure he won’t turn down a cocktail. 

'Merica Shot

'Merica Shot
1/2 oz Grenadine
1/2 oz Titos Handmade Vodka (made in the USA!)
1/2 oz. Blue Curacao
Pour ingredients in the given order: grenadine, Tito's, Blue Curacao. Use a spoon to deflect the pouring of the liquor because otherwise the force of each poor will mix all three liquors together.

I don't mean to be too snarky about dressing up like a sexy - insert noun here. I am a big fan of having a great time and being yourself. If that means your ass is hanging out of a cat costume, you go Glenn CoCo. Just be safe, have a designated driver always, and you may want to take my mom's advice and grab a coat. Nobody wants to see a slutty Sesame Street character with a runny nose, unless you're Sexy Snuffleupagus, then it totally works!

Holly

 

 

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